I took a long break from life, and it was pretty torturous because I lived without things I felt I lived for. When I decided to get back to it, I faced pretty much a lot of doubts about myself. I thought about the unfamiliarity due to changes that took place while I was gone. I thought about how I would cope with my new entrance to University.
Then again, the Dharma reminds me that everything is impermanent. Instead of being attached to things I'm used to, things I think are ideals, it will be better to think of situations as results of conditions.
Conditions due to Karma, conditions due to the weather, due to biological processes. But last but not least, conditions due to decisions that I make.
If I decide that I cannot cope with the changes, if I decide that I'm gonna stick to the good old days..
1. I'm gonna miss out a lot in life, and
2. I'm a rotten Buddhist
So I decided to try. To go back and face it. Within 2 hours, I embraced my choice with something more than joy. Just 2 hours and I've learnt. Here's what the presenter shared:
We have to weed a garden so that the plants have space to grow and develop in. So that the nutrients from the soil will not be used up by the weeds unnecessarily. Weeding is not an easy job, it takes sweat and effort. But each drop of sweat and each amount of effort will give the plants the condition to bloom and develop into a pretty garden.
Similarly, our minds are like gardens. Gardens with the seeds of goodness, seeds of the Buddha-nature. Some of these seeds might have already developed into young plants, plants of compassion, plants of wisdom. Think about how easily weeds can spread in a garden that is not regularly maintained. Our minds are just the same. If we do not regularly take the effort to keep our thoughts, speech and actions guarded, to make the effort to remove these weeds, the seeds will not have space to grow. The plants will not have sufficient nutrients to bloom.
The presenter also asked us:
Imagine yourself trekking, without any idea where your destination will be. You're just walking, aimlessly. Tired, thirsty, sweaty. Are you feeling uncertain? Are you feeling unmotivated?
If you do things without an end point in view. just going with the flow of your surroundings, not knowing what you want to achieve, it's gonna be tiring too. Think about what you want to achieve out of what you are doing. It can be the smallest vision to the biggest mission. Whatever it is, it motivates.