Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Following up on the Mudita session by Amy, it struck me because I'm the epitome of A&A- anger and angst. And i'm not afraid to admit since everyone already knows it and realisation is the first step to making an effort for improvement! (Heehee)

Anyway, while mugging, there is a section of my textbook devoted to anger which I found useful. Making the resolution that I'll be more mindful of my A&A syndromes in future, I'd like to share some of these tips in my textbook which I found close to me, and hopefully close to you!

1. Relax.
Practice relaxation techniques when you think of/experience something that presses on your anger button. This will slowly train you to associate unhappy events to relaxation more than anger.

2. Try to interpret situations in alternative manners that would otherwise cause anger.
When you're on the road and someone drives recklessly, instead of being angry at the driver, reflect on it and think: perhaps more can be done by driving institutes to enforce safe driving. Or when someone does something unpleasant, think: This is something that I can learn not to repeat.

The above two are aimed at expressing anger safely.

3. Learn to let go of unrealistic goals that feed the anger- such as the naive belief that expressing anger will motivate others to "do the right thing". I definitely fall prey to this.

Although people believe that "bottling up" emotions risks uncontrollable outbursts, research has proven otherwise. When you are angry with someone, "getting it off your chest" by aggressively confronting the individual will not neutralise your bad feelings. Instead, you will intensify them.

Source: Psychology Core Concepts, Chapter 9: Emotion and motivation, Controlling Anger

With more love than anger/angst,
Mabel =]

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